How's my Mental Health?

A must.

If I said that this blog was originally created in October you would you believe me? Here's the first draft...

"Since I've been home for over a month, I've not had anxiety-related issues. It may be due to the pressures of uni being over, but I've been feeling really good lately."

Now continuing this post 6 months later are things the same? Between November - December I was struggling. I don't think I really spoke up to anyone about this and I can't really put a title on exactly what was wrong but a lot was going on. I was 2-3 months into my new job, still getting used to being back at home and my new routine of working 9-5, five days a week. Whilst working, I joined a new cheer team and worked hard on maintaining my fitness and eating habits. This may not seem a lot but to me it was.

The mental, not physical weight that I thought I had removed from uni, had suddenly come back and every day was so tough. I can't count the number of times I would wake up in the morning and just feel like I couldn't take on the day. It's upsetting to look back and know that I felt like that and all I did was force myself in the shower so I could wake up properly and still catch my train to get into work on time. All I knew was wake up, work, eat (sometimes) and sleep. Not forgetting all my extra activities in the evenings and weekends... I felt like I was a robot. Every day felt the exact same.

I try not to reflect on the end of last year as looking forward is the healthiest option for me. So now it's May and where do I stand? Currently, I am doing okay. One would say good on some days, but I do need to put my health back in check. April was a bit rocky and I stopped going to the gym for 3 weeks due to just being overwhelmed and feeling anxious - why I do not know. That doesn't seem that big, but for someone who was doing gym 3-4 times a week plus cheerleading - it definitely made a big impact. I'm still not on a great gym schedule but hey at least I still go and cheerleading has always been consistent so that's good.

Just a quick one for all my readers. It's extremely scary putting this out for anyone and everyone to read. For my own good, it's crucial that I do so. I'm hoping that this is the start of change. Onwards and upwards from now own. Reminder to myself, stop suffering in silence and speak up.

"Make healthy choices. Not just choices for your body, but for your mind also."


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