Dealing with Insecurities.

Everyone has an insecurity. If you say that you don't have one, you're either unaware of it yet or you're lying. Harsh, but true. For me, I have three major insecurities that I am fully aware of and know how much they affect me. If someone talks about them or brings them up I'll easily shut it down and hope that I don't have to discuss why I feel so insecure about these things.

The three insecurities I have are my weight, my hair and my anxiety. The first two are both issues that I've battled my entire life and with my anxiety, this only came up to surface once I started university. I haven't taken the time to speak up about my insecurities and why I feel a certain way about these things but I'm beginning to open up more lately which is good for me. Blogging about this allows me to get everything out of my head so I'm able to focus on bigger and better things.

My weight. I've discussed this numerous amount of times and I don't expect to do the same again as I'm starting to get to terms with my weight and becoming 100% comfortable with my body which is all I've EVER wanted. To be happy and to be comfortable is all I ask for in life. However, my hair is a different story. I'm very 50/50 with my hair as when I have braids in (or previously when I wore weaves) I would feel like like a solid 10/10 and then once it's time to take the braids out and wear out my natural hair - which I am comfortable doing btw - my confidence is low and I don't feel like making any effort to look presentable. I''m really not explaining this right but you get my gist.

I love my hair but I also hate it too. Last year, early summer time to be precise I decided to chop a lot of my hair as it was extremely damaged and unhealthy. This was THE scariest thing that I went through last year. If my hair was cut too short I wouldn't have had any confidence to wear it out and would end up wearing a beanie hat all summer long, luckily for me it all worked out. It's been almost a year since I cut my hair and it's actually grown back to its original length (yay) which makes me happy as now I can do more with my hair instead of just tying it up and giving up.

Out of those two, my hair is probably more of an issue purely because I cut it and had to learn to style it without tying it up in a bun and going about my daily life. Looking at my anxiety, I'm not as insecure about it as I now tend to tell people about it straight away rather than letting them find out later on. The insecurity with this lies in me not believing that I can be stable in life and live anxiety-free. This is something that I have recently come to terms with, so as of now I'm still trying to work out what's going on without having a breakdown about it all. I'll keep you guys posted in the future.

Time to shed some light into this blog post. It's okay to have insecurities. In fact, I don't think I would be myself without them. Sounds a bit weird, but I mean coming to terms with my insecurities have made me the person I am today. I've learnt to not only adapt but to love them for what they are and to deal with it. I hope that everyone else who suffers from similar or different insecurities can also do the same as me and come to terms with it all. It's so liberating to know what you have and to not let it take over your life. I cannot tell you how good this feels, you'll just have to find out for yourself.

"Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud - think about it."

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