Having the Strength to Walk Away.

Ever seen someone you was once close to walking right next to you, your stomach drops and your heart pumps but you DON'T say hello... instead you walk away as quickly as possible hoping that they don't see you too? No, just me? Yeah, this happened a few weeks ago and it's shocking how I'm only just putting this out now. It's worth the wait so all is fine 😉.

I'm not one to let unfinished business pass me by but unfortunately, I was in a situation that wouldn't allow me to have the "closure" that I desired so for my sake, I had to walk away and learn from this situation in order to not let something like this happen again. If you know me personally, this is easier said than done. I'm a people pleaser and to know that a friend of mine no longer wanted to be friends with me without an explanation drove me insane. I need to know. My heart is burning inside trying to piece together what I've done wrong when most of the time it is the other person that has done wrong. Sadly, my mind doesn't allow me to think that way until the very end which is frustrating but worthwhile I guess.

I don't like walking away from confrontation. In fact, confrontation is a key element when used correctly. I'd rather someone come up to me, saying everything off their chest instead of either sugarcoating their feelings or just not even giving me the benefit of the doubt by telling me their thoughts. This angers me, just be honest and explain what's going on. How am I supposed to know your thoughts when all you say to me is nonsense. I'm an honest person, not just on my blog but to all my friends and family. Saying it how it is, is how I live my life. It's so much easier to do so because everything gets said and there's nothing else to hide. Lying gets you nowhere, believe me, I've created such disgusting lies that ended up coming out at the worst times. Trust me, the truth may hurt but it's the way forward.

For me, walking away comes across as a weak when in fact it is THE strongest thing that anyone can do. The power gained from this made me realise that I am as strong as I say I am. Living my life trying to please everyone is probably what enhanced my anxiety, but just letting go regardless of how much it hurts is a better feeling to have in the long run. As much as I would like to know how people truly feel about me, sometimes I don't need to hear it or it doesn't' need to be said vice versa. As stated at the beginning of this post, a few weeks ago I went through this and boy was it hard but a few days (more like a week) later I felt fine and it just slipped my mind. I've got my life/uni/work to focus on and so much more coming for me in this year that there's really no time to dwell on the past.

Move on, that's all I need to do. Going backwards prevents you from going forwards and I'm not one for walking back in my past footsteps. It takes guts to do, but when done that feeling is euphoric.

"Walking away from what I want in order to find what I deserve."


No comments